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<title>A cure (Church's POV) by MsBellaBlack</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28710333">A cure (Church's POV)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsBellaBlack/pseuds/MsBellaBlack'>MsBellaBlack</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 09:56:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,273</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28710333</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsBellaBlack/pseuds/MsBellaBlack</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Jem is half of the love of my life and one third of my soul. And yet I really don't know if I'll ever be able to start a family with him."</p><p>When you're searching for something that doesn't exist, sometimes you get overwhelmed and you think there's not way out. But no matter how impossible this seems, we would do anything for Jem to come back. I will do anything for Jem to come back.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Church &amp; Jem Carstairs, Jem Carstairs/Tessa Gray, Jem Carstairs/Tessa Gray/Will Herondale, Magnus Bane &amp; Jem Carstairs, Magnus Bane &amp; Woolsey Scott</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A cure (Church's POV)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As soon as she walked in, we all could see it clearly : today was going to be one of those days.</p><p>I was crouched in front of the window pane, my favorite spot since everybody leaves me alone when I'm sitting there. There were two other people present in the room when she entered : Magnus, who was sitting on the kitchen counter, reading aloud some spell in whatever demonic language he was paid to work on this week ; and Woolsey, who was sited on the couch next to the window, his posture straight and his facial expression as calm as ever. He had been counting the money the Predor Lupus would have to save in order to keep existing, paper and pen in hand.<br/>
But when Tessa entered and we saw the expression on her face, we all stopped what we were doing or thinking at once. We all knew what that face meant because, occasionally every 1 to 2 years, the rest of us would wear the same expression expression. Tessa slowly closed the door and walked to the opposite end of the couch Woolsey was sitting on and let out a big sigh. We all knew what was coming.</p><p>Being his usual cheerful self, Magnus tried to delay the upcoming and general feeling of sadness and hopelessness by saying to Tessa :<br/>
- “So you don't even say hello when you see us now ?”<br/>
While he said that, he had the fakest smile I've ever seen him do. And that says a lot because I've seen him talking to fairies.</p><p>- “It's useless...” said Tessa in a voice that was almost a whisper.<br/>
At this point, nobody was thinking of the outside world, or the spells and their demonic language or the Predor Lupus. Our eyes were all on Tessa and we knew we were about to hear what we already know. That truth we refuse to believe and we uselessly try to fight against.<br/>
- “We've searched everywhere, like really everywhere” Tessa continues, her voice getting louder and louder with every word she says. “We will never get Jem back. I feel so powerless, the one thing that I fear the most is inevitable and there's nothing we can do to avoid it from happening.”</p><p>She paused for a moment. Magnus took that opportunity to get up from the counter and quickly sit down on the edge of the couch next to Tessa.<br/>
- “Magnus translated every single Chinese book about Yin Fen and didn't discover anything we didn't know already. Woolsey studied medicine for many years and practically became the best doctor in all of Downworld and still didn't manage to find a cure. I also did my research with the Spiral Labyrinth and couldn't find anything.”<br/>
Without skipping a beat, she turned her head towards me and said :<br/>
- “Even Church went around the world in almost every single Shadowhunter institute and didn't find anything helpful.”</p><p>That's why I liked her. Part of it was because she was the woman my Jem loved so I felt like I had a responsibility to watch over her until he came back. But also because she always included me. She knew out of all of us, I was the most likely to be willing to give my life to save Jem from what he's been going through for the last hundred and fifty years.<br/>
- “Brother Enoch warned us in London that this wasn't going to be easy” she resumed. “But you would think that after all those years we would have found at least something telling us we're heading in the right direction. But no, nothing. Jem is half of the love of my life and one third of my soul. And yet I really don't know if I'll ever be able to start a family with him.”</p><p>I didn't even notice but at one point Woolsey got up to get her a glass of water and the only reason why she even stopped talking was because she was drinking from that glass. We all thought she would speak again but instead she looked at me. And I knew what that meant : she wanted to hug me.<br/>
I don't like when people pet me, hug me or show me affection. Usually, when they try, I hurt them with my claws before sending them a killer look that meant “don't-ever-do-that-again-in-your-life-or-I'll-cut-you-to-pieces”. Except for Jem. Jem is the one person I love more than anything and anyone and I am actually the one who meows for him to hold me in his arms.<br/>
But it's been more than a century since I've felt this happy, since I've felt Jem's presence around me. And even though what Tessa said was something we all knew was true, we tried not to talk about it too much. That truth was depressing and I hated to think about it.</p><p>I slowly got up and walked to the bottom of the couch. Then I leaped onto it and laid down on Tessa's lap, all curled up on myself. As soon as I was there, she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly.<br/>
- “That's what I'm afraid of” whispered Tessa. “What if Jem never saw Church again ? Church is unhappy, I can see it, we all can see it. And even though this cat is the devil himself” (she smiled a little when she said that), “he probably wants to see Jem as much as we do, probably even more. What if they can never see each other again ?”<br/>
And then she started crying. A lot. I hid my face against her leg so that nobody saw that I was crying to.<br/>
- “They absolutely will see each other again” said Magnus in a surprisingly clear voice.<br/>
- “Yes” approved Woolsey. “Maybe we're going slow but we're all doing our best Tessa. And even though right now it seems like we can't reach the end of the tunnel, we will one day.<br/>
I meowed in approbation which earned me a tiny smile from Tessa. I completely understands how she feels, we all do. We miss Jem. We want Jem back. I want Jem back.<br/>
Sometimes, I stay awake at night thinking about all of this : London, Mortmain, The Dark sisters, Brother Enoch, the Yin Fen, a cure, a cure, a cure, a cure... The cure doesn't exist. But we have to keep searching for it.</p><p>My eyes travelled the room and finally set on a big box, one that was sealed by a tiny locket. In this box was Jem's violin. I brought it back from London right after Jem went with Brother Enoch because I didn't want anybody to get their hands on it. I asked Woolsey and Magnus to put it in a sealed box and we all promised we would only open it once Jem would be free. When I'm the one feeling discouraged about our search for a cure, I sit by that box and I close my eyes and I swear I can hear Jem playing the violin in his room at the London institute. </p><p>I didn't realize I was staring up until I looked up and everybody's eyes had followed mine and we were all looking at the box.<br/>
- “I have got so many ideas of what Jem and I could do if we ever found a cure” suddenly said Tessa. “We would have so many things to do when Jem would come back-”<br/>
- “Will” interrupted Magnus.<br/>
Woolsey, Tessa and I looked up and stared at Magnus.<br/>
- “When Jem WILL come back” said Magnus. “When you talk about Jem, you have to say Will.”<br/>
And Tessa started to cry again.</p>
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